


Stanford Daze

by Melinique



Series: Stanford Daze 'Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23927467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melinique/pseuds/Melinique
Summary: Stanford!AU Sam Winchester, a student in his third year in pre-law at Stanford is trying to help a man he met once when he was 8. The man, Jimmy Novak was committed to a psychiatric hospital shortly after his daughter was born for among other things, claiming he was really the angel Castiel.
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester
Series: Stanford Daze 'Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724824
Kudos: 14





	1. Jimmy Novak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'd say this is AU to begin with simply for two reasons 1) Sam doesn't leave Stanford in 2005 to go with Dean to find their father and neither of them are hunters. 2) Dean's a mechanic who lives with his Creole chef husband Benny and coincidentally Dean's two kids Emma and Ben in Louisiana.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural and all characters wherein belong to their respective owners, I do not own them nor have I ever claimed to, I'm just playing around with them.
> 
> Other: And, a huge thank you to my wonderful beta (ha, can't believe I actually have one of those!), vrskaandrea - any remaining errors are solely my own.

Sam sat on his bed surrounded by books for his college classes, his laptop, and a blue folder with the name James in big bold letters on the front. He had already finished his homework but hadn't moved the books, yet. He shut his laptop off after figuring out that he still had writers block and wasn't getting any further in Crossroads Deal, the third book in the Hunter Brothers series, which was being published under the name Sam Wesson - why he listened to his drunk brother about this pen name, he did not know. The whole series was based around Jimmy's delusions, and Amelia had given consent for Sam to write them while Jimmy loved reading them. And sadly, he was still at a complete stop with Boy King & Broken Angel which was a single book spin-off, an alternate reality from the Hunter Brothers. The book dealt with bestiality entangled with some erotic moments and while his publisher hated the idea, Jimmy seemed to love it and enjoyed reading the pre-published version. And, the folder that had the name James on it had newspaper clippings from the most public incident that resulted in Jimmy being committed, other records that were more discreet incidents, and most recently…evidence for a case that Sam and a professor from his first year of pre-law were trying to build to get Jimmy out.

Sam leaned back against the wall at the head of his bed and closed his eyes. Dean didn't understand. Bobby didn't understand. Jess didn't understand. He'd never forget the night he met Jimmy because it was also the night that Sam killed his and Dean's father.

Their mother Mary had died in a house fire and John's way of dealing was to turn to alcohol and drag the boys around the country. Dean had always been the favorite child while John blamed Sam for Mary's death. Mary was caught in the nursery while Dean ran with Sam. It had started shortly before school and Sam would just get smacked for any random shit their alcoholic father decided to smack him over. At six, it became fists. At seven, it became John's belt. At eight, it was whatever John could get hold of. Dean had always tried to protect Sam and sometimes, it would work, while other times, it would not and they'd both end up getting beat. That night, John had been punching him before switching over to his belt. Dean had been out trying to make sure Sam would have food in the morning - he knew Dean stole a lot back than, but it was just enough for them to survive. Dean came back and got between them…twelve years old and behaving more like an adult then their father. Dean grabbed John's gun from John's suitcase - why John even had one, Sam had never asked - and threatened his father to get him to back off. When John turned his attention to Dean…Dean dropped the gun and John started to hit him…fists, belt, whatever. Sam, bloody and bruised, picked up the gun and yelled at John to stop. John ignored him. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Click, Click, Click - the gun was empty. Dean was wide-eyed and John was on the floor with five gunshot wounds to the chest. He had to take the gun from Sam so that Sam would quit pulling the trigger. Dean held Sam until the police arrived and then…Sam ran.

He really didn't remember that many details about running into Jimmy. He just remembered concern from the man, feeling warm and safe, and spending the following week practically glued to him until the police found him - which also came with the consequence of Jimmy losing his job. And, with what Sam's figured out while talking to Amelia, Jimmy wasn't able to hold down another job after that. He knew that he'd steadily gotten worse over the years until Claire was born and he set fire to the church because their teachings didn't agree to the one's of the Lord. Or, at least that was what the newspaper said. Listening to Jimmy over his first summer break from college, his story never once changed - the church was satanic under the guise a 'God fearing church' and children from the congregation started turning up dead either with strange ritualistic wounds or drained of blood. Looking at news stories or just asking people who were around during that time, Jimmy wasn't delusional about that church. But, Jimmy also wasn't 'all there', either. And, his professor did point out a good fact, Amelia was the one to commit Jimmy and she doesn't want him out. Jimmy no longer recognized Amelia as his wife and quit recognizing seeing Claire as his daughter when she was only two. The only person Jimmy seemed to even want to be around was Sam because whether or not Sam believed that he is Castiel or not, he at least listened. And, his professor has pointed out since Sam returned to Stanford for his second year of pre-law that if they pursue getting Jimmy released - since Amelia has already told them both bluntly that she doesn't want Jimmy back in her home until he's 'better' - that Jimmy wouldn't have any place to go and being delusional wouldn't help with home or job hunting. While his professor didn't ask, Sam knew that the professor probably had a pretty good idea what Sam's solution would be.

In just a month, his third year is ending, which means he's swamped in college work and studying for tests that are a big part of his grades. He was sitting listening to his third year pre-law professor talk about a hypothetical case when his phone vibrated in his pocket. None of his college friends would be calling him during class, Dean and Benny both know his schedule and the time difference between Louisiana and California, so they wouldn't call unless it was an emergency. Uncle Bobby only called to ask about Thanksgiving and Christmas visits - Dean was closer to Bobby than Sam - and it was too early in the year for either of those calls. He snuck his phone out of his pocket and was immediately concerned by the name 'Amelia' that popped out on the screen. Why would Amelia be calling in the middle of the week? She only called after Friday classes or on the weekend. Not even thinking about the consequences, he got up and headed for the door out of the class as he hit the answer button.

'Amelia?' Sam asked concerned.

'Sam, there's a problem'. Amelia said. Oh, that wasn't a good sign. The only other time Amelia called and THOSE were the first words out of her mouth, Jimmy had jumped off the roof of the three-story psychiatric hospital thinking he could fly like an angel and surprisingly only breaking his right leg. How he even got up there was still a mystery since the door was kept locked and was locked when they investigated it. But, what the doctors and Amelia didn't know was that the 'flying' stunt had been because Sam had had to cancel his visit over winter break, all because Dean had gotten his ass drunk and spent the majority of that time in jail until Benny came up to Sioux Falls, bailed him out of jail - and than oddly proposed to him. Sam hadn't planned to spend all his winter break in Sioux Falls, but stuff happened. It was about a week after school started back that Amelia called him and Sam learned what Jimmy had done. When Sam came to Pontiac, and asked him why, Jimmy had admitted that he missed Sam and just wanted to visit. Sam never again made the mistake of missing one of his 'promised' visits.

Sam was just going through the door - his professor was pissed for the blatant interruption. 'What did Jimmy do this time'? Sam asked frustrated.

'He tried to kill himself.' Amelia admitted. She was still Jimmy's wife by law but it was evident by the tone of her voice that there was no love there anymore.

'He didn't get on the roof again, did he?' Sam asked concerned, walking through the hall.

'No. I'm not entirely sure I understood it myself. He's not under the heavy restrictions that some of the people there are, so he's allowed things that most aren't. There's a small cut on the left side of his throat but it's deep'. Amelia explained hesitantly.

'That doesn't necessarily sound suicidal. That sounds more like a shaving accident. I did it a couple times myself when I was learning how to shave'. Sam said, slightly annoyed. He wasn't sure who was worse sometimes, Amelia or those damn doctors that ignore everything Jimmy says as Cas.

'He said that he thought he could heal himself. He didn't understand why he couldn't heal or fly since angels can do both without much thought'. Amelia explained.

Sam came to a stop in the middle of the hall, lowered his head, closed his eyes tightly, and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Dammit, Jimmy!'

'Sam, I can't keep dealing with this! Jimmy doesn't even want me there anymore! Claire doesn't even consider him a father anymore which is why she stopped going! The last time we went together, the look on his face was a mix of surprise and anger before he asked where YOU were! I wish you'd just take him and then you could deal with him.' Amelia started out sounding angry, but by the end just sounded tired - defeated.

'Oh, it couldn't be that easy'. Sam thought to himself. He knew Jimmy wasn't a child and there was a part of him that felt like that was how Amelia saw him as now, but he had gotten pretty good at reading her - he's better at face-to-face than over the phone, though. He decided to 'take a shot in the dark'.

'Amelia'? Sam asked carefully.

'Sam'. Amelia said tired.

By now Sam was standing just outside the entrance of the school. 'What would you say if I told you that me and my first year pre-law professor have been working on getting Jimmy out of the hospital'? He asked carefully.

'I'd say you're as crazy as he is for thinking that's safe but I'll send him bow-wrapped to you, if you're serious'. Amelia said.

Sam couldn't help the mental image of Jimmy with a big red bow around his neck popping into his head. He laughed and then cleared his throat. 'Sorry, I just got a mental image of that'. He admitted still smiling.

'Are you actually serious?' Amelia asked slightly confused.

'Yes.' Sam answered without hesitation.

'And you think you could handle him and continue your pre-law education without him ending up in the papers, again?' Amelia asked concerned.

'I can't guarantee that, no. But, I would do my best to keep it from happening.' Sam said honestly but with clear determination.

It was settled that Amelia wouldn't be sending Jimmy bow-wrapped to Sam, but that Sam would be making a trip over the weekend - the following weekend - to get Jimmy since there were things Amelia had to straighten out to make it all legal. And, it also gave Sam time to explain to his girlfriend Jess and his first year pre-law professor about this sudden development with Jimmy. He would also need to talk to Benny because while he had the money for one round-trip ticket, he didn't have enough for the one-way ticket for Jimmy. He hated asking his brother's husband for money, but it wasn't the first time that this had happened due to Jimmy and he always paid Benny back even though Benny never mentioned that he had to, beyond the normal 'when you make it as a big shot lawyer, we'll talk about it' joke. Sam joked back 'says the big shot Creole chef' and then Dean butting in 'best in New Orleans' which promptly causes a slight blush to Benny's cheeks and a laugh from Sam. Dean wasn't entirely wrong, Benny was in fact one of the best Creole chefs in Louisiana and typically ranked in the top ten nationally.

Sam had thought since he was little that Dean would eventually marry someone who was a good cook and while he'd been right, it had honestly surprised him that the person he finally went monogamous with was actually a guy. Dean had joked with him about Sam's bisexuality since Sam was fourteen, so to find out that Dean was the same way was (quite) a surprise. And, while Benny was best at Creole, he also made some killer pies! Sam would bet the remainder of his scholarship at Stanford that Dean had been more interested in the pies than the Creole food but he obviously enjoyed that too. Benny was also the only person who could consistently get Dean to eat 'rabbit food', also known as vegetables. Sam hadn't liked Benny at first but getting Dean to adjust his grease-filled diet a little at a time, he eventually had to admit that Benny was actually a really good guy…even if Benny did have the odd habit of drinking Dean's blood on occasion. But, in Benny's defense that was due to a psychiatric condition - or at least, it better be and not some sexual kink - that translates out to consensual vampirism. If it hadn't been for Benny, he'd have never learned the difference between clinical vampirism, more commonly known as Renfield's Syndrome - which is apparently something that is akin to 'vampirism for murderers' - and consensual vampirism which is self explanatory and, by the way Benny talks about it - sadly, it probably is a sexual kink. Oh well, at least he wasn't in Ben's shoes - seriously, how Dean ended up with a son named Ben and married to a man named Benny, both whose names are actually Benjamin, is anyone's guess - and walked in on those two with Dean tied down - spread-eagle with leather restraints - and when Benny looked at him, his mouth was stained with blood… That poor kid called Sam balling his eyes out thinking Benny was actually hurting his dad and Sam had to explain to the little guy that Benny wasn't hurting Dean and that Dean was probably enjoying it. They invested in a padlock for their room the next day. On the other hand, Emma - poor little Emma - learnt at the tender age of two what the six-nine position was. That padlock wasn't much good if tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb didn't use it. God, he knew more about Dean's sex life than he EVER, EVER wanted too!

The day finally arrived and Sam ended up back in Pontiac, Illinois. He was still swamped with end-of-the-year college work but he'd done what he could before leaving Stanford for the weekend and done even more while on the plane. The good thing was that there were only two weeks left. The bad thing was that having to revamp his plans included having to put off proposing to Jess on a vacation he could no longer afford - if he'd been able to finish Crossroads Deal, it wouldn't have been a problem, but while he'd began making progress again, it was only about half done. Even if it was put off another year - they'd been dating for almost two, so he was still hopeful that Jess would still say yes, he knew that Brady would still be his best man.

Sam stood in a room in Pontiac Psychiatric Center with Amelia, Jimmy, and some guy that Sam had come to believe was the director at the center. It took most of that weekend to get everything sorted out and Sam was relegated to doing his college work whenever he had the free moment to do some. By the time it was time to head back to Palo Alto, Sam came to the conclusion that besides the books that Sam had given Jimmy to read - prerelease copies of Missing Father and Parents Murderer which were the first two books of The Hunter Brothers series, three leather bound year-long diaries and a refillable black gel pin with a couple cartridges still in the pack - it became a tradition of sorts for Sam to keep him stocked with a new diary and cartridges for the pen after the first Christmas after he'd visited Jimmy MANY times over that summer in '02. He also had a little sky blue cassette player, black headphones, and a white shoebox of classic rock cassettes which Sam took to Jimmy at Dean's request because it was mostly Dean's fault that Sammy missed the visit that resulted in Jimmy trying to 'fly' and Dean felt bad. 'Just because the guy's crazy doesn't mean he can't know good music, Sammy'. Besides those things, he didn't have anything aside from the outfit that seemed to be mandatory for patients there - white long sleeved shirt and pants, both kind of baggy and white slippers.

'Don't you have any other clothes'? Sam asked Jimmy before looking at Amelia with a questioning look.

Jimmy shook his head. 'Not here'. Jimmy said.

'And, I don't have your clothes anymore'. Amelia admitted.

'And, I'm broke and in debt to my brother-in-law, again'. Sam mumbled annoyed.

While everything was being finalized and Jimmy just kept hold of the things he had while staying quiet, Sam's phone started vibrating in his pocket. It surprised Sam that he got a signal in Pontiac, Illinois when he didn't in New Orleans or Sioux Falls - but he didn't question it. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the name 'Prof. Randall'. Why was his first year pre-law professor calling him? Sam stepped back to the door as he hit the answer button. 'Professor Randall, I'm kind of busy, at the moment'. Sam said.

'Sam, there's been an accident.' Professor Randall said, sounding upset.

'Sir, I'm in Pontiac, right now with Jimmy and his wife, I'm really rather busy. Can't this wait until I get back?' Sam stressed.

'There was a fire.' Professor Randall said, still upset.

'What?' Sam asked confused.

'In the little apartment you were sharing with Miss Moore, she uh - I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, Sam, but she didn't make it.' Professor Randall said sadly.

'What'? Sam asked in disbelief.

'Jessica's dead, Sam and Brady has been arrested for the arson and will likely be facing charges due to her death.' Professor Randall said in a much more professional tone.

Sam looked at Jimmy. 'Jess is dead…in a fire in our apartment…and Brady did it?' Sam whispered.

Jimmy's head snapped up from where he'd been keeping it down and he stared at Sam wide-eyed.

'Yes.' Professor Randall said.

How the hell had Jimmy known almost two years prior that Jess would die and that Brady would be the one to set the fire? Hell, that had been part of the first book, it wouldn't be disclosed until a later book - a currently unwritten book - that Brady had been involved…not accounting for name changes and such.

'Sam, I've read your books. The police don't know you're Sam Wesson, yet - but once they do…they're going to be curious about the timing of this, you took off not even two days before your girlfriend died in a fire. You wrote about it in your first book for Christ's sake! Are you involved? If not, how did you know'? Professor Randall asked.

'No, I'm not involved! But, you wouldn't believe me if I told you how I knew'. Sam admitted.

'What does that mean'? Professor Randall snapped.

'It means I'm going to have a hell of time figuring out my own living situation and Jimmy's clothing situation, as well... We'll talk more when I get back to Stanford. I'll even introduce you to Jimmy'. Sam said smiling nervously before ending the call.

xXxXx

Dean sat in front of the couch eating the peach pie Benny had made - straight out of the pie tin. Dean was leaned back against the couch while consequently also sitting between Benny's legs, Benny was leaning against the right armrest. Ben who was seven and Emma who was almost four had already fallen asleep in their respective rooms. Honestly, Dean didn't know if Ben was biologically his kid or not but Lisa legitimately couldn't afford to raise a kid and while it had been a rough decision, she agreed that it was better that he be raised by someone who could afford to raise him and loved him very much. Dean still wasn't real sure how she'd come to that conclusion considering when Ben was born, he'd been a drifter mechanic living in his car, but he'd always made sure Ben had a meal, school supplies, clothes, and as much love as he could give without turning into mush. Emma, Dean knew without a doubt was his and the reason he'd ended up with her was that her mother died in childbirth. He met Benny shortly after and even before they were involved, he was godsend, helping with Ben and Emma and getting Dean to realize that a drifter mechanic wasn't a good career for a father. Dean knew that Benny had had a wife Andrea and a teenage daughter Elisabeth who he would have given the world for, but they both died in a boating accident. He'd been driving the boat when the accident happened, and that was the reason why Benny didn't go out on the water anymore.

Benny looked at the back of Dean's head. Dean was twenty-six while Benny was thirty-eight and while being best known on a impersonal level as being a national level Creole chef, to the people that knew him, he was a kid lover - and not in some creepy, perverted, pedophilic way. Ben and Emma were the reason that he offered to help Dean, no strings attached, no repayments, he just wanted to help when it was obvious Dean was struggling to handle two kids. Getting to know Dean, besides a questionable diet and alcoholism - he learnt that he was a great guy. They dated for about two years and getting him to cut back his alcohol intake - he still got drunk on occasion, though - actually turned out easier than adjusting his diet, the solution to that ended up being a threat to stop making pies for Dean if he didn't start making small adjustments. Dean still didn't have a necessarily healthy diet but at least he wasn't digging himself into a grave before the age of thirty. He still wasn't sure what Dean saw in him that convinced him to marry Benny, but he didn't like thinking about that. Well, Dean didn't like him thinking about it. Dean had actually made him write a list of the cons of why he's not good for Dean while he wrote a list of the pros. They'd read each others lists and while Dean had poked a hole firmly in each one of Benny's cons, Benny still wasn't sure if he bought Dean's pros list or not. But, it didn't really matter. He was happy with Dean, Dean was happy with him, Ben and Emma both loved Benny as a second dad, and Benny loved Ben and Emma just as much as he'd loved Liz.

During the national news portion of the late night news that Dean and Benny were watching, they were both caught off guard by the preview headline just before a commercial '1 dead in fire on Stanford University campus'. They both knew that Sam was supposed to be in Pontiac, Illinois, but the concern was still there. What if the fire had happened before he could leave and the news was just slow?

Benny put his right hand on Dean's head. 'I'm sure Sam is fine, Dean'. Sam had to be safe! It would destroy Dean if he wasn't. They'd lost their mother in a fire when Sam was only a baby. Their father was an abusive drunk after that - one thing Dean was not towards his kids even when he was drinking too much, and Sam shot their father when he was eight. Sam had no idea what being John's 'favorite son' really meant and when Benny first found out, it had made him SICK! What kind of a father would rape his four-year old son? And the worst part – it went on for the next eight years until Sam shot the son of a bitch. If Benny ever found out where he was buried, he promised he would piss on the bastard's grave which got a laugh out of Dean, even though he'd been quite serious. Their surrogate uncle Bobby Singer provided Sam with stability - even if Sam had been reserved around him - while also teaching Dean everything he knew about fixing vehicles before Dean graduated and just started drifting from place to place as a mechanic, while trying to make sure to be home for Sam's school events. One son and daughter later, he ended up in Guidry's Gumbo Shack and that's when Dean's life started getting much better. But, Dean loved Sam so much, he couldn't lose him!

The news came back and Dean stopped mid-chew. While it was nerve-wrecking and stomach churning to learn just where the fire had been - Dean and Benny knew despite what the news said that the area was technically off campus and the reason they knew that was because it was exactly where Sam lived! 'Sammy'! The word was choked while also being slightly obscured due to the food in Dean's mouth.

Benny flexed the fingers on his right hand, putting more pressure on Dean's head, this COULDN'T be happening!

The news continued and they found out that the body was of one Jessica Moore, the news also mentioned that Brady was responsible, and Sam was wanted for questioning in connection to her death because it had been his apartment.

'WHAT'?! Was both Dean and Benny's response, Dean thought the cops were crazy - Sam wouldn't kill Jess! He fucking loved her! And, Benny didn't think the reporter was actually supposed to say that. But, he knew for a fact that Sam hadn't been involved, he'd been too caught up in the situation with Jimmy to plan out a murder.

'Benny'? Dean asked confused and looked back at Benny after finally swallowing the bite of peach pie.

'What is it, cher'? Benny asked.

'Didn't Julian Harper's girlfriend die that same way in Missing Father'? Dean asked confused suddenly remembering the events of Sam's book.

Benny thought for a minute, it had been over a year since he'd read that book. His eyes went wide. 'Yeah, she did die that way'. Benny said concerned.

'But, I thought these books were based on Jimmy's delusions'! Dean said exasperated.

'They were.' Benny said.

'Then how the hell did Jess die the same way that - that Jimmy said Sam's Stanford girlfriend would before Sam had even MET Jess'?! Dean asked concerned.

Benny shook his head. 'I don't know, cher. I just do not know'. Benny admitted concerned. The whole thing reminded Benny of Louisiana voodoo. He knew enough about it - his grandmother and also his mother were actually both practitioners - to 1) not mess with it and 2) to know some things couldn't be explained. Was Jimmy as delusional as people believed or was he just in touch with something others weren't - even if it wasn't necessarily the angel, Castiel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: To clarify a few things, 1) by age…Ben should have actually been older than Emma in the show, if I remember correctly - so, that's why Ben is the older brother. 2) Due to Benny not having spent 50 years or whatever in Purgatory, Elisabeth couldn't have been his great-granddaughter without him being a hell of a lot older than 38. 3) The reason for Dean and Benny's respective career choices is simply that they were fitting. 4) If you want clarification on other things, I will be offering non-spoiler clarifications in each chapters closing author's note. If there's something of that nature that you want clarified that I didn't then either leave a comment or message me and I'll be sure to add it in the next chapters ending authors note.
> 
> Reviews/Comments/Constructive Criticism welcome!


	2. Truth and Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This story was not planned out to be very long, I figured about three chapters. I'm still planning to stick with that…unless I decide to time-skip to Sam being in law school or something…I don't know, yet - the potential is there to continue after the three chapters but there is no guarantee. Right now, only the three are planned.
> 
> Other: And, a huge thank you to the continued work of my wonderful beta, vrskaandrea - any remaining errors are solely my own.

Sam sat by the window on the plane, Jimmy in the seat right next to him. Sam leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Jess was dead and the police wanted to talk to him. What was he supposed to do? If they didn't know he was Sam Wesson, then there wouldn't be a problem with the police - or nothing that Prof. Randall couldn't deal with. If they found out he was Sam Wesson, though - God, he didn't know what he would do. Who the hell would believe that it was just a small part of Jimmy's delusions? And, isn't it just hilarious that THAT is such a SMALL thing compared to a lot of things in those books?

Jimmy looked at him, he was glad that Sam started calling him Cas once he was out of the hospital, and he wanted to express his gratitude, but he couldn't imagine what Sam was going through - losing the person he loved. Did Amelia know what that felt like when she lost Jimmy? And, while a part of him was happy that there was a reason for people to believe him, to see he wasn't delusional, now…did it have to come at such a cost? Out of all the things he could have been right about, why did it have to be that? Jess sounded like such a sweet young lady and he knew that Sam loved her. And, it was just so odd that anytime he thought about that, he felt - he wasn't sure what the best word was to describe the feeling but maybe - jealous? Why would he be jealous of Jess, though? He wanted Sam happy and - okay, he hadn't realized he had actually growled until Sam looked at him with raised eyebrows.

After landing, Jimmy kept his head down and followed Sam and Sam wasn't sure if it was because he hadn't really been out in public for almost eight years or if it was because he looked like a mental ward escapee. If he had actually thought any of his clothes would've fit Jimmy, he would've offered.

Sam led Jimmy out of the airport and over to a classic car that had Jimmy asking one word - name, 'Dean?'

Sam laughed. 'Yeah, he's a mechanic but he also restores classic cars, and due to his opinion that his baby brother needed something to drive that didn't just get him from point A to point B, I ended up with this.' Sam explained.

'I've seen pictures of Baby, and this can't be an Impala. So, what is it?' Jimmy asked curiously.

''64 Plymouth Barracuda.' Sam replied.

'Did you name it?' Jimmy asked smiling and watching the car with an interest he really couldn't have named.

Sam laughed again, shaking his head. 'I'm not Dean, Cas'.

Jimmy tilted his head slightly and got a look on his face that Sam considered to be his 'processing, please stand by' look.

Sam waited patiently for several seconds.

'I don't understand, Samuel.' Jimmy said in a tone that, for Sam, would normally mean Jimmy was about to be led out of the room and Sam would have to come back the next day because Jimmy was 'slipping further into his delusions'. Only, Jimmy wasn't in the hospital anymore, so he wasn't being taken anywhere.

'It just means that just because Dean would do something doesn't mean I would.' Sam explained.

Jimmy lowered his head and got into the passengers seat after Sam put the luggage in the truck and slipped in behind the wheel.

As Sam drove, he asked, 'Do you know how to drive?'

Jimmy got that 'processing, please stand by' look, again. It was several seconds later that he finally replied. 'Jimmy knew how, I don't know if I do or not.'

'Oh, Sam - what did you get yourself into?' Sam thought to himself.

Sam stopped at the police station. 'Just stay here, if I'm not out in an hour call Professor Randall. And, if I end up being charged, call Dean.' Sam said before handing Jimmy his phone and then getting out of the car. 'Oh! Dean is listed under Jerk in my contacts.' Sam explained before tossing his keys to him.

Jimmy watched as Sam walked into the police station. He wanted to go in with Sam but he knew that being followed by someone looking like an escaped mental patient wouldn't help…even if that mental patient was the one that told him about Jess' death almost two years prior to it happening. The police would never believe him and would just have him re-committed. Now, where did Sam put his music? Zeppelin sounded like a good idea.

Sam walked up to the reception desk and the male officer asked, 'Can I help you?'

Sam tilted his head to the left. 'Name's Sam Winchester, I think you wanted to talk to me.' He said calmly.

He didn't have anywhere near the run-ins with the police that Dean did, but Sam always loved it when he could catch an officer off-guard. He didn't really like police but he did have a healthy respect for them.

It was several minutes and a couple officers getting personal information later before Sam was led to an interview room.

Sam sat in the room with an officer who had a build closer to Benny's and another who had a lanky build, both were men. 'State your name for the record.' The lanky one, Jacobs said.

'Samuel Winchester.' Sam said.

'Do you know why you're here?' Jacobs asked.

'My girlfriend Jess is dead and my apartment burned.' Sam said. He knew he sounded detached but it was a trait he had picked up from Professor Randall, a trait required for being a successful lawyer - it was the balance between detachment and attachment that Sam hadn't found yet, though.

'And, why were you not on campus?' Jacobs asked.

'Sir, my apartment isn't on campus to begin with.' Sam pointed out. 'Even if I had been in the apartment, I still wouldn't have been on campus.' Okay, so he was a bit snide but it was mistake to many people made and he was tired of it.

'Why had you left after school Friday?' Jacobs asked.

Sam took a deep breath. 'Shit! I need to keep Jimmy out of this but I need to explain where I was.' Sam thought to himself and sighed. 'A little over a week prior to that - it was Wednesday - so, close to a week and a half, I received a call from Amelia - Amelia Novak who is the wife of Jimmy - James Novak. Jimmy is someone I know from Pontiac - Pontiac, Illinois - and who for the past several years has been a patient at Pontiac Psychiatric Center. Amelia called after Jimmy cut his neck deep - he's not suicidal so much as delusional, but they don't see the difference. Me and a professor at Stanford had been working at getting him out - I know it might not seem like the best option but I haven't thought he needed to be in there since I found out he'd been committed…he just - he NEEDS someone to listen and I think if people would, even if they didn't necessarily believe him, he would be more stable. I know it's messed up, but that's just what I believe. I told Amelia about what the professor and I had been working on and she was more then happy to be rid of the problems Jimmy has caused her. Jimmy's delusions include not recognizing her as his wife or his own daughter as his daughter. In his defense though, he's been in the center most of his daughter's life. I made plans and purchased the round-trip ticket to get me to Pontiac and called my brothers husband, Benny, and got the money from him for a ticket back here from Pontiac for Jimmy.' Sam explained.

'What's your brother and his husbands name and where do they live?' Jacobs asked.

'Dean Winchester-Lafitte is my brother, his husbands name is Benjamin Lafitte, but everyone just calls him Benny. They live in New Orleans.' Sam said.

'Benny Lafitte, the Creole chef?' asked the guy whose build was similar to Benny's, Montoya. He'd sounded surprised.

Sam closed his eyes and laughed humorlessly before reopening his eyes. 'The very same.' Sam said with an irritated smile. He'd grown to love his brother-in-law but there was always something that grated on him when people asked that question.

'Do you know a Sam Wesson?' Jacobs asked.

Sam bit his tongue, that was NOT a question he wanted to EVER have to answer! He didn't like people outside his family - and Jimmy and Amelia - knowing who he was. 'Of course, I do. Sam Wesson is the pen name I use to write the Hunter Brothers series because I'm trying to become a lawyer, not an author.' Sam answered honestly.

'Then, why did you write them?' Montoya asked.

How to explain that without involving Jimmy? 'Because, they make good stories.' Sam said.

'In the first book though, Julian's Harper's girlfriend died in an identical matter to the way Jessica Moore did, and that book was written two years prior to Jessica's death. So, you can see why it seems like you'd been planning this for awhile.' Jacobs pointed out.

'I hadn't even MET Jessica when that book was written. And, I was actually involved with Brady, at the time. If I was basing the story even loosely around my life, wouldn't I have been killing off a BOY-friend and NOT a GIRL-friend'? Sam asked pissed off.

'Isn't it true that you shot your father when you were a child?' Jacobs asked.

'It almost sounds like, while you might have written the books, they weren't originally your idea.' Montoya said uncertainly.

BOTH Jacobs question and Montoya's comment caught Sam off-guard. 'Yes, I did - in self-defense and in defense of my older brother, but yes, I did kill him.' Sam said. He wouldn't respond to Montoya's comment unless asked directly.

'Because he was abusive to both of you?' Jacobs asked.

Sam nodded. 'He normally didn't hurt Dean, just me.' Sam explained. 'But, when Dean would attempt to defend me, he would get the same thing I got.' Sam continued.

'Was the Hunter Brothers originally your idea?' Montoya asked.

'No'. Sam said.

'Whose idea was it?' Montoya asked.

Sam shook his head. 'No. I've answered everything else, but no.' Sam said defensively.

Jacobs and Montoya looked at each other. Sam knew it might have been a mistake to refuse to answer that but he'd involved Jimmy enough already.

'If the Hunter Brothers weren't originally your idea, why would you not want to tell us whose idea it was? We should be talking to them.' Montoya asked confused.

Sam lowered his head. Technically, Jimmy wasn't mentally competent to stand trial and the center had records for EVERYONE who Jimmy called or who called him - and they kept those records for years. But, if he was found mentally incompetent, would he be recommitted? He could get him out but it would just create a loop of trial and institutionalization. Huh? As Jimmy's legal guardian - damn, he hated that term - he could keep the police from interviewing him. That might lead into a fight between 'the state' and him but it was a fight he would willingly lead, too. 'It's part of the delusional world that Jimmy has built around my brother and myself.' Sam explained. It was the simplest way to explain it.

'They were Jimmy Novak's idea?' Jacobs asked in disbelief.

'They were Jimmy's delusions, putting them into book form and tweaking names was my idea.' Sam explained.

'Do you know where Mister Novak is?' Jacobs asked.

'In my car outside, but no, you're not talking to him.' Sam said defensively.

'He's an adult and -' Jacobs began.

'And, I'm his legal guardian. You can't talk to him unless I permit it and I'll be DAMNED if you go near him!' Sam interrupted by snapping.

Montoya got up and left the room and Sam began grinding his teeth.

Jimmy had his headphones on listening to Led Zeppelin, had his head leaned back on the seat, and had his eyes closed. He jumped when there was a knock on the window of his car door. Jimmy stopped the cassette, tugged his headphones down to around his neck, and then rolled down his window. 'Yes?' Jimmy asked.

'Are you Jimmy Novak?' Montoya asked.

Jimmy narrowed his eyes. 'I prefer Castiel or Cas.' Jimmy said.

'Could you step out of the vehicle?' Montoya asked.

'Samuel told me to stay here, so that's what I'm doing.' Jimmy said simply.

Jimmy could tell the officer was getting frustrated but he doubted it could be any worse then frustrating one of the nurses or doctors at the hospital - center - hellhole.

'Would you mind answering a question?' Montoya asked.

'I want Sam.' Jimmy said before tugging his headphones back up over his ears, hitting play on the cassette player, and looking out the front window.

Montoya went to grab the back of the headphones off Jimmy's head when Jimmy's right hand shot up catching Montoya's wrist in a very tight grip, his head snapped toward Montoya, and he said angrily, 'Touch me again, human and I'll your break damn wrist!'

Montoya took a startled step back, pulling his wrist in the process, 'What the fuck?' He asked surprised and slightly frightened. Jimmy released his wrist as Montoya took the step back causing Montoya to fall back on his ass. When Jimmy had spoken, his eyes had seemed to almost glow but when he released his grip, they'd returned to normal. 'Oh, there's no way I'm mentioning this to my superiors or else I'll be the one committed.' Montoya thought to himself.

Jimmy watched as Montoya stood up and walked rather quickly back into the police station. And, it confused him that Montoya had backed up simply due to a threat, he was a police officer, for Heaven's sake!

Sam was bouncing his knee by the time Montoya came back into the room. He said NOTHING to Jacobs after Montoya had left and he - Sam - was PISSED!

'Uh, Jimmy refused to say anything without you present, Mister Winchester.' Montoya said - still shaken.

'Why the hell were you talking to him? I already told you not to!' Sam asked angrily.

Jacobs looked at Montoya with an expectant look on his face.

When Montoya didn't respond, Sam snapped, 'I may not be a lawyer, yet - but I'm his guardian. You had no fucking right to talk to him without my consent!' Sam leaned forward, interlacing his fingers together under his chin. 'As a matter of fact, it wasn't legal. I'm sure Professor Randall would have a field day with this in court. You want to fuck with me, go ahead, you son of a bitch! But, you leave Jimmy the hell alone!' Sam could feel his anger continuing to rise but instead of saying something he MIGHT regret, he leaned back in his chair with a wicked smirk on his face.

Neither Jacobs nor Montoya responded to his outburst.

'So, since neither of you are going to speak, does that mean I can leave, now?' Sam asked impatiently.

'We don't actually have enough to arrest you, so - for the moment, you're free to go…just don't leave the state.' Jacobs said.

'I wasn't planning to leave the state even once the school year was over since Jimmy's here now and I need to finish Crossroads Deal before visiting Dean, Benny, and the kids.' Sam said.

'Kids?' Jacobs asked.

'Ben and Emma Lafitte, they're Dean's children - my nephew and niece, but Benny adopted them after they got married - so, they took Benny's last name.' Sam explained.

After Sam left the room, 'What were you thinking, Alex?' Jacobs asked concerned.

'Jimmy Novak is a very strange man.' Montoya - Alex - said, still shaken but refusing to elaborate anymore.

Jacobs was confused by the vague comment but decided not to press the matter. 'Was it just me or did Mister Winchester seem to have feelings for Mister Novak?' He asked.

'You saw that too, huh? I didn't interact with Mister Novak very long but I'd bet my next paycheck, the feelings mutual.' Alex said.

'You already owe me your next paycheck.' Jacobs said.

When Sam finally got to where his apartment was, he and Jimmy both got out of the car, and Sam just looked at the damage to the outside of the apartment complex. A lot of people considered it to be part of the campus but it wasn't, there's a deal in place between the owner and the campus for students who go to Stanford but don't want to live on campus - for example, those in 'serious' relationships - or in Sam's case, just isn't into the 'frat party' scene. It had eight apartments - three on the main level, four on the second, and one in the basement which was coincidentally where the washing machines and driers were. Sam had been designated the 'mole' of the complex because he lived in the basement next to the laundry room.

Jimmy looked at Sam but kept silent. He stuck his hands in his pockets, started rocking up on his toes back to his heels and repeatedly doing the motion - a habit he had picked up in the center when he was standing and waiting for the proverbial 'other shoe' to drop. Dear lord, he missed having NORMAL shoes!

Jimmy watched as Sam's eyes began to fill with tears - something he had been anticipating since he found out Jess had died. He really had no idea what to say to help the situation, if there was a way, so he continued to stay silent. He watched as the tears began to run down Sam's face, as his bottom lip began to tremble, and as he began mouthing 'Jess'. It wasn't the fact that Jimmy had been RIGHT about Jess dying, it was the fact that Jess died in an identical way to how Sam's mother Mary had that that bothered Jimmy. That had bothered Jimmy since Sam told him how his mother had died. He watched as Sam put his hand over his mouth and dropped to his knees, his shoulders starting to shake as he sobbed silently.

Jimmy knelt down in front of Sam and put his hands on Sam's shoulders. 'Samuel, I'm sorry. I am so sorry'. He said regretfully.

Sam looked at Jimmy and lowered his hand from his mouth. 'How did you know?' he choked out.

Jimmy shook his head. 'I don't know, Samuel. I've never known how I know these things, you KNOW that. I just know them. They're just there. And, you know not EVERYTHING I know is accurate.' Jimmy said regretfully.

Sam grabbed the front of Jimmy's shirt and twisted his left hand in the shirt. 'How did you know?' Sam asked angrily but with tears still in his eyes.

Jimmy shook his head. 'I don't know, Sam.' Jimmy said regretfully. 'I wish I did. I'd give anything to know how I knew, but I don't.' He added. He knew he should probably be scared, but he wasn't.

Sam stood up, pulling Jimmy with him. 'How did you know?' Sam repeated getting more and more aggravated.

'I don't know!' Jimmy stressed sadly.

'How did you know?' Sam shouted filled with rage before punching Jimmy, releasing his hold on his shirt at the same time.

Jimmy looked up at Sam from where he'd been knocked down. 'Sam?' He asked surprised and sad.

Sam kept repeating the question and punching Jimmy, and Jimmy didn't even fight back.

When Sam regained control of his temper, he was leaning over Jimmy with his arm pulled back and Jimmy was on his right side covering his face with his left hand. Sam stood up, dropping his arm to his side in the process. 'Jim-Cas?' He asked hesitantly.

Jimmy lowered his hand, looking at Sam out of the corner of his eye, or trying to since the vision is his left eye was blurry. Jimmy sat up slowly. 'We should leave.' Jimmy said. He knew it was a good thing that it was dark - it had been near sunset when the plane had landed.

Sam just blinked a few times. He knew that Jimmy wasn't a fighter, he'd gotten the shit knocked out of him enough times by some of the more violent patients at the center that Sam had figured that out, but he didn't even seem to care that Sam had hit him. 'Cas?' He asked sadly.

'Sam, we're out on a sidewalk, and you just hit me. The police already think you're involved in Jess' death, do you want to be arrested for assault?' Jimmy asked but Sam could tell that his voice was hollow.

'I hit you and yet, you're trying to protect me?' Sam thought drenched with guilt.

Jimmy stood up and followed Sam to the trunk of the car. Sam popped the trunk and took a hoodie out of his luggage, before closing the trunk back, and holding the hoodie out to him. Jimmy looked at it then Sam and repeated that action a few times.

'Put it on, hood up. It might not hide much but at least you won't look like an escaped mental patient that got their face busted up.' Sam said with a frown before shaking his head. 'You should be pissed at me! Why aren't you?' He thought to himself which was better then his first instinct to yell it at Jimmy.

Jimmy took the hoodie - with it saying 'Stanford' on it, he figured it was probably from Sam's college. He slipped it on, zipped it, and then flipped the hood up. It wouldn't conceal much but maybe just enough to not get people asking questions.

Sam drove while Jimmy just sat with his head down. Sam knew he needed to apologize. Yes, he wanted to know how Jimmy knew what he did but he knew that Jimmy didn't know, either. He'd just been so upset and he'd wanted someone to blame. So, why couldn't he just open his mouth and say it? 'I shouldn't have hit you, Jimmy. It's not your fault!' He thought to himself. So, why couldn't he say it?

Sam jumped slightly when Jimmy touched the knuckles on his right hand - the ones that are bloody due to hitting Jimmy. Jimmy brushed his thumb back and forth over Sam's knuckles. 'What's wrong with me?' Jimmy whispered.

'Nothing's WRONG with you, Jimmy.' Sam thought to himself, but he knew he wasn't expected to answer since Jimmy was talking to himself, so he didn't.

When Sam finally stopped in front a house, Jimmy looked at the small duplex, and asked, 'Where are we'?

'Professor Randall's house.' Sam said. When Jimmy didn't ask the obvious question, why - Sam explained anyways. 'I figure I can get him to let us spend the night and I can start looking for a place after classes tomorrow.' He wasn't about to mention that he had missed his Monday classes but he'd texted Professor Randall after the second flight delay. 'It's not completely ethical but I've done it before when we were working on getting you released. The only difference is that you're with me, this time.' Aw hell, he was broke and he wouldn't ask Benny for more money until he's paid him back what he already owed him!

Jimmy followed Sam up the three steps, staying slightly behind Sam with his head down. Sam pressed the doorbell and Jimmy thought about the 'doorbell' from the Munsters. He knew that Professor Randall despite being around Jimmy's age was fascinated by some of the older 'spooky comedy' series like the Munsters and the Addams Family. Personally, he only had vague recollections of both, he just remembered them being funny. If Lurch was the one to open the door though, he was thumbing it back to Pontiac.

When the door opened, a lady about 5'4", looking slightly younger than Jimmy answered. 'Aw, hello Sammy!' She greeted happily.

Sam nodded. 'Good evening, Justine.' Sam said.

Jimmy looked at Sam. 'Justine is Matthew's wife.' Sam explained without having to see the question on Jimmy's face. Jimmy knew that Matthew was Professor Randall's first name.

'Who's your friend?' Justine asked.

Sam nudged Jimmy slightly in the stomach. 'My name's Castiel, but you can call me Jimmy.' Jimmy said, not looking up.

'Aw yes, James Novak. I've heard about you.' Justine said. 'Would you two like to come in?' She asked curiously.

'Actually, I have a question for you and Matthew.' Sam said hesitantly.

'You need to spend the night?' Justine guessed.

'Yes, ma'am.' Sam said.

'I figured as much. Come in, would you like some shepherd's pie? There's still some left.' Justine asked.

Jimmy followed Sam inside and listened as Justine shut the door.

'Thank you, ma'am.' Sam said. He knew better then to say no, Justine was like that country grandmother that always had food for the grandkids, and getting out of eating didn't work.

'How about you, Jimmy?' Justine asked.

Jimmy looked at Sam. 'Please, please, please say yes!' Jimmy thought. He wanted something that didn't taste like elementary school cafeteria or hospital patient food!

Matthew walked out of what was obviously the kitchen when a cup in his hand. 'I figured you'd show up here, Sam. It's nice to see you outside that damned room, Jimmy.' Matthew said.

'Hello to you too, Professor Randall.' Sam said trying to sound annoyed but failing due to the smirk.

Jimmy stepped further behind Sam.

'I've told you time and again, outside the classroom, it's Matthew…or Matt.' Matthew said. 'The guest room is upstairs, just look for the sign on the door that reads guest - if you would prefer dropping your luggage off up there, first.' He continued.

Sam walked back outside to get the luggage while Jimmy almost ran upstairs.

'Matt?' Justine asked hesitantly.

'What is it, hun'? Matthew asked curiously.

'Was it just my imagination or did Jimmy have bruises on his face?' Justine asked. 'And, Sam's knuckles looked bloody.' She continued.

'It wasn't your imagination. But, Jimmy won't say anything against Sam. I've tried talking to him without Sam and he just shuts down or is immediately hostile.' Matthew said. 'I don't know why he would suddenly go off on Jimmy after trying for the last couple years to get him out of the mental hospital, and while I won't defend Sam for it, and I don't think Jimmy did anything to instigate it, that doesn't mean that Sam didn't have a reason. And, it wouldn't simply be because he could'. Matthew continued.

Jimmy had tossed the hoodie onto the bed as soon as he'd gotten in the room before walking into the little bathroom connected to the room. He locked both doors, leaned back against the bathroom door and then leaned his head back. 'One damn thing and I couldn't even do that right!' Jimmy whispered to himself. He couldn't fly. He couldn't heal himself. He couldn't heal someone else. What kind of angel was he?

He stripped his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. He turned his back to the mirror and looked over his shoulder. He wanted to scream 'Why doesn't anybody else see the damn feathers?!' Sure they were black but still, they were FEATHERS! And, they were HIS!

He turned back around when he started shaking. 'What's wrong with me? Why can't I do anything right? And, why is the one person who actually listens to me the person I hurt most?' He whispered. 'What kind of angel keeps failing at whatever he tries, over and over, again?' He continued whispering before shaking his head.

He looked at what was around the sink and seeing the razor, he wondered if it would hurt if he slit his wrists. He smirked to himself. Humans were stupid. Someone wanting to slit their wrists needed to do it quickly, vertically, and deep along the vein. He took the razor apart to get solely to the blade. 'What good am I to Sam?' He whispered, holding the blade - he could tell it was sharp.

He felt the tears in his eyes run down his cheeks. 'I'm not good to anyone. I'm no good for Sam.' He whispered, before making the cuts quickly along BOTH wrists, but as he looked again at the mirror, he could've sworn he'd seen his eyes glow red.

Sam stood outside the guest room door with his and Jimmy's luggage. They'd figure out who would take the couch later. Sam knocked on the door. 'Come on, Jimmy! Open up!' Sam said. 'Jimmy, come on, I... I'm sorry!' He continued. 'Cas, please, open the door.' He continued concerned. He had a bad feeling growing in his gut and he did NOT like it!

'Do you need some help?' Matthew asked from behind him.

'Do you have a key?' Sam asked without turning from the door.

'No. I lost the key years ago to the guest room.' Matthew said.

'Nail file and straight pin?' Sam asked, still without turning from the door.

It only took a minute from the time Matthew walked away for Justine to come back with the requested items.

Sam got to work picking the lock and Matthew and Justine watched. 'Don't ask.' Sam said. Sam wasn't about to explain learning how to pick locks to help Dean out when they both spent the better part of eighteen months rebelling against Bobby. He could pick some very complicated locks but that wasn't really a necessity in this situation.

When Sam got the door open, he glanced around the room and noticed his Stanford hoodie on the bed. He made his way over to the bathroom door and wasn't surprised to find it locked, as well. 'Jim-Cas, please, open the door so I don't have to get it open myself.' Sam said, concern growing.

When there was no response, Sam got to work picking that lock, as well. After the door was unlocked, Sam tried to open it, but something seemed to be holding it shut. 'Castiel, this isn't funny!' Sam snapped. It took him a couple attempts to shoulder the door open, but as soon as he did and got into the room, he immediately saw the problem. 'Jimmy? Oh dear God!' Sam choked.

Jimmy had collapsed back against the door. The blood covered Jimmy's arms and Sam knelt down next to him. 'Why did you do this?' Sam cried.

'Matt, call an ambulance and bring me some scissors, we need tourniquets!' Justine ordered.

As soon as Justine had made makeshift tourniquet on Jimmy's arms with parts of Jimmy's shirt and a couple pencils, Sam pulled Jimmy into his lap and held him tight. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you. It wasn't your fault Jess died. I'm sorry, Jimmy - Cas, I'm so sorry.' Sam cried. 'You can't die on me, you just can't.' He thought to himself.

xXxXx

Benny reached over Dean's sleeping form to his phone and hit the answer button before bringing it back to his ear. 'Mmm, huh?' He was half-asleep and that was his idea of a hello.

Benny listened for a few seconds, waking up faster then normal. 'Sam?' Benny asked concerned. Sam calling in tears was definitely new for him, Sam wasn't one to cry in front of others, even over the phone.

He was only able to catch bits and pieces of what Sam was saying since part of it just wasn't audible and others just didn't make sense. By what he was catching, though…Sam had 'gone off' on Jimmy and after they'd gotten to Professor Randall's house - not sure why they were there - Jimmy cut his wrists almost all the way up to his elbows. And, Sam's a wreck because it's his fault - or, he's blaming himself for it, even if he probably wasn't to blame.

'Do you want Dean?' Benny asked.

He wasn't sure what Sam responded with besides that Jimmy was in critical condition and even if he survived, he'd be under a seventy-hour psych hold. He wasn't sure if Sam wanted Dean there or not but critical condition wasn't good and if something DID happen…Dean needed to be there - even if just to make sure Sam continued to take care of himself and at least attempted to go to school.

After they hung up, Benny woke Dean up, and after avoiding getting punched in the mouth and then eye - Dean could be violent if he was 'suddenly' woken up, he explained about the call from Sam, and Dean was ready to leave before Benny was even off the phone with the airport for the ticket. 'Take care of Ben and Emma, tell them daddy will be back in a few days. And, get in touch with my current clients at the auto shop, tell them I'll get back to work as soon as I get back - family emergency.' Dean rattled off, Benny agreed without hesitation before Dean shot out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The only thing I can think to clarify that isn't any kind of spoiler, 1) To those of you who haven't figured it out, think of Sam's the Hunter Brothers series as similar to Chuck's Supernatural series in the series. 2) If you want clarification on other things, I will be offering non-spoiler clarifications in each chapters closing author's note. If there's something of that nature that you want clarified that I didn't then either leave a comment or message me and I'll be sure to add it in the next chapters ending authors note.
> 
> Reviews/Comments/Constructive Criticism welcome!


	3. Friends or Something More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Truthfully, I hate cliffhangers with a passion. But, with as quickly as I've been able to write this, I didn't figure it would tick anyone (or myself) off to much to have to deal with it. After all, what would Supernatural be without the threat of at least one death?
> 
> Other: And, a huge thank you to my continued wonderful beta, vrskaandrea - any remaining errors are solely my own.

Sam stood in the room, he wasn't supposed to be there, but he couldn't NOT be, either. Even after the blood transfusion, Jimmy was still so pale, and his heart rate and blood pressure were still down. The bruises on the left side of Jimmy's face were even more apparent on his pale skin. The wrapped bandages on both arms running from his wrists up to his elbows were just a further reminder of just how much Jimmy - Castiel - had wanted to end his life.

Sam glanced at the door before putting his right hand gently on the left side of Jimmy's face - not even paying attention to his scabbed-over knuckles, and then sitting gently on the bed Jimmy was on, his right leg bent inward while his left foot was still on the floor. 'Jimmy, I am so sorry.' Sam whispered.

He moved his hand up into Jimmy's hair, starting to slowly massage his scalp - Dean would scalp him if he ever figured out that that was something Sam had picked up from Benny that apparently worked wonders at relaxing/soothing Dean. 'I don't blame you. And, I've never really thought you were delusional. I've always just thought you had a very active imagination. Such a beautiful thing, I just wanted others to see, that's why I started the Hunter Brothers series. I wanted other people to see just what a beautiful mind you have, I still do. I want THE WORLD to see it!' Sam whispered in admiration.

Sam kept massaging Jimmy's scalp as he let his eyes drift closed. He'd been awake all night and was about ready to crash but he wouldn't let himself sleep, yet. 'Please - please Jimmy, just wake up and I'll do things right. I don't know how, I'm not even sure what they are, yet - just please, wake up.' Sam whispered with a hint of desperation in his voice. Sam opened his eyes and looked at the small scab on the side of Jimmy's neck where he cut himself too deep, he would honestly be surprised if it didn't leave a scar.

Sam knew he needed to get ready for school, the year was close to its end and if he planned to keep the scholarship into the following year…he couldn't just not show for the last two weeks. Professor Randall had covered for him on Monday but he couldn't expect that, again. But God help him, he didn't want to leave. Sam huffed a sad smile. 'You wouldn't be too happy if I got kicked out of college, would you?' Sam whispered.

Sam glanced around. 'Alright, alright, I'll go, but I'll be back as soon as my classes are over. Don't go doing anything stupid until I get back, understand?' Sam whispered before doing something on the spur of the moment and quickly leaned forward to press his lips to Jimmy's forehead. He only lingered a few seconds before a loud beeping sound started - or that would be Sam's best explanation for the sound, if he hadn't fallen off the bed when it started, startling him into a half-jump away from Jimmy only to put all his weight down on a leg that had apparently fallen asleep.

'You should not be in here'. Sam heard a woman's voice faintly say - faint only because of the volume of the beeping/alarm. Sam managed to get up on his knees and looked at the nurse then at Jimmy realizing finally what the sound meant before hefting himself slightly unsteadily onto his feet. Jimmy's heart had stopped.

As soon as the words 'code blue' were out of the nurse's mouth, things started happening in rapid succession. Sam wasn't entirely sure how he ended up standing outside the exit of the hospital but the new soreness is his right hand and the busted lip of the security guard told him he was probably lucky he wasn't being charged.

xXxXx

Dean sat on the plane waiting for take-off, if the flight attendant tried to take his earbuds, he would probably end up throwing a fit - he did not like planes. He knew mechanics well enough to know that cars and motorcycles could continue running well for DECADES if they're well maintained - he could probably build one if he ever had the desire to do so, but planes were flying death traps and someone would be hard pressed to convince him otherwise, no matter how well-maintained they were. If it wasn't for the fact that Sam was in California and needed his brother - whether he'd admit it or not - sooner than Baby could get Dean there, he'd be driving. He hated planes! He despised planes! He - was being stared at by the man in the window seat next to him.

Dean took his left ear bud out before turning his attention to the man next to him. The man was blonde and dressed head to toe in black. 'What'? Dean asked cautiously. He didn't like being stared at, he never had. Even when trying to get laid when he was going through women like pie - he hadn't liked being stared at, which always made his interactions with the woman or sometimes, women…unique. God, he hoped he only had the two kids because God only knew how many women he slept with without protection, which was also why Benny had made him get tested before he'd sleep with him.

'Classic Metallica?' The blonde asked curiously.

It took Dean a few moments to realize what the man was asking. He glanced at his cassette player, his loose ear bud, and then returned his attention to the man. 'Uh, yeah.' Dean said, still cautious - something about this man was just…different.

'Can't beat classic rock.' The blonde said.

'No.' Dean agreed. 'So, what are you heading to San Francisco for?' He decided to ask.

'Trying to find my damn son.' The blonde said irritated.

'Have you considered the police?' Dean asked, once again cautious - his alarm bells were going off like they had the first time his dad - nope! He wasn't going there. THAT was extremely rare and normally it had him running the opposite direction.

'They're no help. I've been on my own trying to find him for quite sometime.' The blonde said.

'So, you think he's in San Francisco?' Dean asked.

'It's the last place I can think of that he could be, he couldn't have just up and vanished unless -' The blonde shook his head. 'Nevermind, he couldn't have disappeared.' The blonde continued.

'So, WHY do you think he's in San Francisco?' Dean asked - okay, even if his alarm bells were going off…the man was serving as a nice distraction from the plane about to take-off.

'I don't, I think he's in Palo Alto.' The man said.

'Why?' Dean couldn't stop himself from asking. Something in him was screaming that this was bad! And, he couldn't figure out just what or why.

'Because, I finally tracked him down to Pontiac, Illinois. When I figured out he'd left there only a day or so ago, I tracked down his…wife. It took some convincing but she admitted that he'd went out to California with some college kid. But, California is a big state so I decided to try tracking down the kids brother - it was actually easier to track down the brothers husband. It was just a matter of connecting certain dots together to realize that the kid goes to Stanford, so that's where I'm heading…or the general area, since I don't figure he'd be stupid enough to take my son on campus with him.' The blonde explained. 'I just have to find the kid and then I figure I'll find my son.' The blonde finished.

'Leave Sammy the hell alone, you son of a bitch!' Dean snapped in a hushed but clipped tone. Every, big brother instinct he had kicking into high gear.

The blonde chuckled. 'Dean, oh Dean, I really don't give a fuck about your dear baby brother. I want my son.' He said mockingly.

'And, why the hell are you after Jimmy? You're not old enough to be his father.' Dean asked angrily.

'Jimmy, huh? I'm not after James Novak, I'm after Castiel.' The blonde said smugly.

'And, who the hell do you think you are to think he'll want anything to do with you?' Dean snapped.

'You wouldn't believe me if I told you.' The blonde said honestly.

'Try me.' Dean said annoyed.

'Well, my name's Lucifer but since I doubt you want to think you're sitting next to the Devil while on a flying death trap, just call me Nick.' The blonde - Lucifer - Nick said smiling.

'I'm dead. The plane has crashed, I'm dead, and instead of facing God's 'judgment'…I'm going to relive it while being seated next to the Devil.' Dean thought to himself.

Nick laughed and shook his head. 'Sure, Dean…if that's what you want to go with, we can go with that'. Nick said still smiling.

Dean just stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at Nick - okay, maybe he was the one losing his mind because he was certain he hadn't said that out loud. And, the occasional red flicker in Nick's eyes was even more unnerving.

xXxXx

Matthew had called Sam to see if he was coming to school. Sam had admitted that he'd come, Jimmy just had to get out of critical condition first. Matthew said he'd try to cover for him but that he'd need Sam's homework from over the weekend and would bring him Monday's and Tuesday's that evening after the day ended. Sam agreed, knowing Matthew was going out on a pretty unsturdy limb to be doing that so close to the end of the school year. And, Sam also knew what he - Sam - was risking…but Jimmy HAD TO BE okay!

The doctors had gotten Jimmy's heart restarted only for it to stop three more times and while they'd gotten it restarted every time, after the fourth time, Sam had been asked - the downside to being Jimmy's medical POA - if he wanted them to keep doing that. And, while Sam's immediate reaction was a definitive yes, after listening to the doctor explain what was happening and the potential damage that was being done to Jimmy's body every time his heart stopped - Sam hadn't been able to say it or anything really so he just shuck his head. Maybe the best thing he could do for Jimmy was to let him go.

Sam sat in the room with Jimmy. Technically, he probably still shouldn't be in the room but the exception was made due to the doctors belief that it was only a matter of time before Jimmy's heart stopped, again. He understood the dynamics behind blood loss causing one's heart to fail but Jimmy had had the blood transfusion, so why was his heart still failing? Sustained blood loss leads to organ failure but the only organ that seemed to be FAILING was his heart and it had the blood to pump, so WHY was it still failing?

Sam sat on the edge of the bed just as he had before, just this time with Jimmy's right hand clutched between both of his. 'Jimmy - I am so, so sorry. I don't think I'll ever be able to say that enough.' Sam said near tears, again. 'And, I'm probably damned for saying this, but I don't regret getting you out of there. I just regret how things have turned out.' Sam closed his eyes as he felt the tears begin to run down his face.

It had only been a couple minutes when a voice made him flinch and look up. 'Hey, look what I brought in addition to your homework, Sam.' Matthew said, trying to said cheerful.

Sam blinked his eyes a couple times before using his right hand to wipe at his eyes and then look at Matthew or more accurately, the man standing behind Matthew. 'Dean!' Sam said - choked.

Dean stepped around Matthew before walking over to Sam. 'Did I ever tell you how much I hate planes and flying?' Dean asked - attempting to sound humorous, and while he might have succeeded, it was obvious from Sam's glaring reaction that he wasn't in the mood.

'You didn't have to come here, Dean.' Sam snapped before turning his attention back to Jimmy.

'Well, Benny thought it was a good idea and I-' Dean attempted to explain.

'So what, you're Benny's bitch, now?' Sam asked angrily. He knew he shouldn't be acting that way and he knew that Dean was trying to 'cheer him up' but Dean had always had a lousy sense of humor and he really wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

'I agreed with Benny. I needed to be here.' Dean continued without showing a sign of whether or not being called 'Benny's bitch' bothered him. The only person he let call him a bitch was Benny and that was only behind closed doors. Of course, he didn't mind being called cher…he actually liked being called that. So yes, Sam calling him 'Benny's bitch' did bother him, but he knew Sam was hurting so he was trying to give his little brother some leeway.

'Why? So, you can tell me how much a mistake I made wanting to -' Sam started seethingly.

'No! I wasn't going to say it was a mistake, but you didn't think of the consequences, and now you do and you can't do shit to -' Dean started angrily.

A throat cleared and Sam, Dean, and the quiet Matthew all turned to the new person in the room. 'Aw damn it! You followed me, didn't you, Nick?' Dean huffed.

'It wasn't difficult.' Nick admitted.

'Who's Nick?' Sam and Matthew asked simultaneously.

'A crazy fuck that thinks he's the Devil.' Dean snapped.

Nick started laughing. Dean watched Nick, the alarm bells in his head going off louder than ever, but big brother that he was positioned himself between Sam and Nick - and by extension, between Jimmy and Nick. Sam watched Dean move before his eyes snapped toward the heart rate monitor. 'What the hell? His heart rates spiking!' Sam thought to himself. Matthew stood unmoving, something was very, very WRONG!

Lucifer started to step toward Jimmy until he was almost toe-to-toe with Dean. 'This is not a fight you will win, Dean Winchester.' Lucifer said calmly as he put his hands in his pockets. 'You might be Michael's True Vessel in other realities just as your dear baby brother is mine, but this one…well, we have nothing to do with this one, but unlike when I was cast out and into the Cage, Castiel was cast here.' Lucifer said.

'That doesn't make sense. Cas wasn't CAST anywhere, he Fell.' Sam said uncertainly.

Dean looked back at Sam. 'You believe this lunatic?' Dean asked curiously.

'You don't really think that bitch Naomi would let Castiel remember what REALLY happened do you?' Lucifer spat. 'Oh, I'm sure what he remembers happened somewhere in one of the other realities, but in the one that -' Lucifer pointed at Jimmy. 'Castiel is from, he didn't Fall, he was CAST OUT because whether it was my older brother Michael, my younger brother Raphael, or the bitch Naomi - the reprogramming will NEVER stick.' Lucifer said angrily as his eyes began to glow red.

'Why was he being reprogrammed?' Sam asked curiously.

'Because, Castiel is my son and she wanted him to forget, but one memory always stuck with him and the rebellion and subsequent reprogramming cycle would continue on an endless loop for MILLENNIA until Naomi had finally had enough when the only archangel that remained…was me.' Lucifer explained.

'A child - Cas fighting against Michael's angels trying to get to you before you were cast out. It wasn't Michael that stopped him, though. It wasn't an angel or an archangel who stopped him. The one who stopped him was named Elohim.' Sam said, choosing each word carefully.

Lucifer was surprised for a split second - Elohim was a more human variant of his fathers numerous names, it wasn't one the angels used very often…so, why would Castiel have called him that when talking to Sam - before he regained his composure and nodded and then his eyes went wide. 'Of course!' He said with a smirk.

'What?' Sam, Dean, and Matthew all asked simultaneously.

'He bonded with Sam because even if this Sam isn't one of my True Vessel's, and with his memories in such a mess, there's still a part of him that can feel that connection and that makes Sam familiar.' Lucifer thought to himself. 'And, while my Grace reaches for his, his has been completely bound and can't reach for mine.' He looked at Sam. 'I can break the bind, but -' He closed his eyes and focused for a few seconds before reopening his eyes.

'Sam, I can heal him and remove the binds from his Grace, but there's a price.' Lucifer said with his eyes and focus only on Sam.

'What?' Sam asked.

'If you EVER do this to him, again - I will come back and I will make my time in the Cage seem like a merry little stroll through Heaven before I was cast out compared to what I will do to you. Do you understand me?' Lucifer said with pure venom in his voice.

'I understand.' Sam said. Unconsciously avoiding the word that he knew gave Lucifer permission to possess him.

Lucifer stepped around Dean and held his left hand - palm up out to Sam. 'Being who I am, it's been many millennia since I've attempted or even wanted to heal someone but I'm still an archangel.' Lucifer began - not mentioning that healing had never been his strong suit, Michael excelled at it, Raphael was as well but he was just weaker, even Gabriel was more proficient at healing then he was. Power was his strong point, he was actually stronger then Michael, but what can you do when you're fighting someone who has God on their side? 'But, unbinding his Grace will require delving a lot deeper and I'll need an anchor so I don't lose myself. Can you be my anchor?' Lucifer asked.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Lucifer, he didn't like the guy, but he hadn't given him a reason not to trust him - besides the whole fact that he was the LITERAL Devil. Sam looked at Matthew who seemed to be just observing the whole scene - a habit he'd witnessed many time in his first year of college when there was a disagreement in the class and Matthew would just stand there and observe unless things threatened to take a turn into the physical. Sam looked at Dean, it was obvious that he didn't trust Lucifer, but he wasn't stopping Sam, either. For once, allowing Sam to make a major decision without it making him feel like it would be easier pulling his own wisdom teeth - and those bastards still hadn't completely come in! Returning his attention to Lucifer, he took a deep breathe, placed his right hand in Lucifer's hand and said one simple word, 'Yes.'

xXxXx

The first time Jimmy Novak ever told someone his name was Castiel, he had just started preschool, and he'd been told to introduce himself to the class. That would be the first of many times he'd end up sitting in the principals office.

The first time Jimmy Novak drew attention for his claims of being Castiel had been when he was only eleven and had tried to tell people for over three weeks that the rocket launch would be fatal. While he ended up being correct, the attention he got from the secret side of the government made him begin to think that maybe the things he knew were really a curse. And, that would be the last time until he was sixteen that he would try to convince people that he was Castiel.

The first time Jimmy Novak would meet his eventual wife Amelia, he was sixteen. The first time Amelia would hear Jimmy refer to himself as Castiel was on their first date when he corrected her by trying to get her to call him Castiel instead of Jimmy.

Jimmy would meet a young boy named Sam Winchester when he was eighteen, four months before his high school graduation. Sam had been bloody and bruised and while Jimmy's first instinct should have been to find Sam's parents or to contact the police, he had taken Sam and hidden him away in what he'd been considering his 'secret base' since he'd found it when he was thirteen. The fact that it was a condemned house that just hadn't been bulldozed, yet - really hadn't mattered. Jimmy had liked it and even cobbled things together to make sure he didn't end up stepping through the floor, the ceiling didn't leak - much, and the walls weren't gonna be blown over at the first gust. The fact that he actually had no legitimate idea what he was doing was irrelevant.

During the week that Sam was with him, Jimmy spent all of his time not at school or work at the secret base. There was just something about the kid that made him feel - like maybe he wasn't cursed and Sam hadn't minded the fact that he preferred being called Castiel. Sam had made him feel like…no matter what, he had to make sure Sam was safe. It hadn't been until after Sam had been taken by the police and he'd been fired from his part-time job from the county library that he'd finally figured out the other feeling, Sam had felt like home - which had made him feel sick since Sam was a child!

The first time Jimmy would be committed to an institution for his delusions, he was eighteen and fresh out of high school. He tied his girlfriend Amelia to a tree, drew a devil's trap around her, set a circle of holy oil on fire around that, and proceeded to try to exorcism her demon and later her angel - when the demon exorcism didn't work - in Enochian.

For the next three months, he refused to speak English, only Enochian - anytime he was FORCED into speaking English, he'd refer to it as a filthy language. And, during those three months - he had been able to feel wings on his back. The first time he'd been touched sexually - which also happened to be his first sexual experience - was at the end of those three months. The male nurse had cornered him in one of the lesser used rooms, stuck his right hand down the front of Jimmy's pants and his left down the back of Jimmy's pants - that would also be the first time that Jimmy would learn just how much a persons body could betray them. That night would also be the last time Jimmy would speak Enochian or feel the wings on his back. That night, something had broken.

Jimmy and Amelia would end up back together shortly after his release but the first time she attempted to give him a hand job, he flashed back to that nurse and ended up punching her…landing himself in jail for two days.

Again and again, Jimmy and Amelia would end up together only for him to do something and land himself back in the institution, that one incident was the one time he ended up in jail. And until he was twenty-three, anytime he was sent back to that place - he would end up getting cornered by that nurse. He had HATED learning just how much his body would betray him over those years. He had HATED giving the nurse a blowjob, the shattered right jaw hadn't helped - he ended up having to get his jaw wired shut for it to heal. That wouldn't be the only time he ended up doing that but that would be the only time he'd do it with a broken jaw as a lesson not to bite - he hadn't but he would have. And, he had HATED figuring out just many ways he could be penetrated and there were several times when he hadn't asked WHAT had been put inside him - because he had honestly been afraid to ask. He wasn't sure why the nurse had stopped working there but it was a relief.

Jimmy and Amelia would get married shortly before Claire was born. After he set fire to the church was when he was finally institutionalized at Pontiac Psychiatric Center. The nurses hated their jobs and the doctors weren't much better. Patients were pretty much left to their own devices except when they started hurting themselves or another patient. Jimmy spent most of his time in his room - he couldn't keep a roommate because he was apparently 'the angel freak', he didn't care. He liked being left alone since nobody listened to him, anyways.

Seeing Sam Winchester again had been a surprise. Seeing just how much Sam had grown had been beyond surprising. Having someone to visit throughout what was Sam's first summer break from a four-year scholarship at Stanford - damn, the kid had to be very smart to get into one of the best college's in the country - had been a breath of fresh air from the sporadic visits that Amelia and rare visits from little Claire. Amelia was the forgiving woman. Amelia was the dutiful wife. Amelia was - well, Jimmy wasn't real sure why he'd married her. Oh, actually he did - he'd been raised to marry the woman you get pregnant. Odd how he hadn't ended up hospitalized ONCE before Amelia and had actually spent more time in an institution then out after meeting her, and why was she expecting him to be close to a daughter that the only time they see their father is when they visit them at a mental hospital and then get bullied because their father is 'the crazy angel freak'. So yes, there was more of him that hated Amelia then loved her, and he didn't have many feelings toward Claire…good or bad.

The last day of his vacation before he had to return to campus, Sam asked if there was anything - within a college kids price range - that Jimmy wanted that Sam could get him. All he'd wanted was something to write in and to write with, as feminine as it might sound, he did like journaling during his teen years, and he missed it. A way to get some books from the library - even if he wasn't allowed out himself, maybe work something out with one of the nicer nurses. Sam had worked out the latter rather quickly but the former took a few months.

Sam's second summer break had come with Jimmy FINALLY getting to thank Sam for the pre-release copy of Missing Father. He'd surprised Sam by hugging him. He'd actually surprised himself by doing that. He'd been so reserved with being touched after his…interactions with the nurse, but when Sam hugged him back…he realized just how touch starved he'd been. He wondered what Sam thought of him breaking down crying - well, he wondered for a brief moment, the rest were spent clinging tightly to Sam.

Jimmy also ended up meeting Sam's brother Dean, brother-in-law Benny, nephew Ben, and niece Emma. He could tell that Ben absolutely adored Dean, the fact he even dressed like Dean had been funny. Emma seemed closer to Benny. It was funny hearing that the reason Emma had a matching - albeit smaller - hat to Benny's was because Benny had gotten her one so that she'd quit stealing his. He was sure there were people - especially down south like Louisiana was that had serious problems with Ben and Emma having two dads - but Dean was a stubborn man and Benny didn't seem to be the type to be bothered by much. He had learned just by listening to Ben and Emma that Dean was daddy and Benny was papa. And, he thought it was fitting - at least for Benny who certainly seemed like a papa bear. He'd noticed that Emma was certainly closer to Sam then Ben was but that they both loved their Uncle Sammy. And, while Emma was a little more closed off with Jimmy, Ben seemed to like him - even though, he wasn't sure if Sam or he had ended up redder when Ben asked 'Are you Uncle Sammy's boyfriend?' Dean had outright laughed while Benny reprimanded Ben. While it was a thought Ben stuck in his head, it was a nice little fantasy that he didn't mind. Being Sam's - anything - sounded better than being Amelia's husband to him.

The break came to an end with Sam repeating his question from the prior year. Jimmy had only requested some music, he wasn't picky with the genre. It wasn't until he decided to try flying to visit Sam that he ended up getting a supply of music - from Dean because it had been his fault that Sam had missed the visit. Dean had sent a whole little trial run of classic rock bands with a note to give Sam back the ones he didn't like and to also make a list of his favorites and he'd send more of those. The list was simple but with commentary:

1\. Led Zeppelin (Do you have their whole collection? Just send it if you do, I've liked this band since I first heard Stairway to Heaven probably before you were born.)  
2\. The Rolling Stones (Do you have Bridges to Babylon? It's one of the few of their cassettes I remember, mostly because of Out of Control.)  
3\. Lynyrd Skynyrd (Do you have the album that I Never Dreamed is on? I don't care if you send any of the other cassettes or not but please send that one!)  
4\. Metallica (To Live is to Die. If you have to ask why I like that song, I would honestly question if YOU even like the band. Just send the cassette it's on, Dean.)  
5\. AC/DC (I like Back in Black, the album AND the song. The song Highway to Hell is good but I prefer Back in Black.)  
6\. Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac is okay but I actually think she does better in her solo career. I actually had Street Angel, there is not a song on that album that I DIDN'T like.)  
*I know you didn't include any of the Eagles music so I don't even know if you like the band, but just in case it was just an oversight, do you have Desperado? I like their song Tequila Sunrise.

Dean had been astounded that someone who says he's an angel actually seemed to know about classic rock. He had subsequently made sure that, as long as they were on cassette, he sent Jimmy the collections of all six of the requests, plus the asterisk one with a small note reading 'I'm not a big Eagles, no. Besides Desperado I didn't even have the others, so enjoy. -Dean'

Well, technically Dean didn't SEND the collections to Jimmy, he took them to him himself which was what make the note so funny. The reason he did that being that Sam had already had to return to Stanford due to the break being over. It was also the only time that Dean would go to see Jimmy without Sam. Jimmy was quietly grateful, unsure what to say to the older Winchester brother when neither Sam nor the kids were with him.

xXxXx

The area Sam stood in seemed dark. 'I thought I could fix this but if I unbind his Grace, it isn't going to FIX his broken mind - he would be lucky if he didn't end up vegetative. I don't know what the hell Naomi did to him but even archangel's Grace can't fix this'. Lucifer said regretfully. 'And, what's worse - the way this bind is designed…if he didn't end up vegetative, he would lose his memories. The ones he's made as Jimmy, the ones from his time as Castiel, the ones that Naomi implanted, the one memory he's kept all these millennia of me - EVERYTHING.' He finished.

'I'm surprised the Devil actually seems to -' Sam began.

'Sam, you can call me whatever the hell you want, but Castiel is still my son and whether you believe me or not, I do care about him.' Lucifer said.

'You can still heal him though, can't you?' Sam asked concerned.

'Yeah…yeah, no problem.' Lucifer said sadly. He thought he'd take Castiel and - well, it didn't matter, his Castiel was gone. He'd survived millennia without his father, he would be fine. And, he honestly needed Sam more than anyone. Naomi would pay for what she'd done, though. Michael and Raphael were already dead and not by his own hand but Naomi - prior to the Cage, he had not been one for torture - at least, not another angel, but Naomi…he would make suffer until her very Grace gave out.

xXxXx

Sam blinked his eyes a few times before realizing he was back in the hospital room. Lucifer was gone, Dean and Matthew seemed to not even know what had just happened, and Jimmy was laying in the hospital bed looking perfectly healthy and he was staring at Sam. 'Sam?' Jimmy asked curiously.

Sam grinned and grabbed Jimmy, holding him to his chest. 'You're okay.' He whispered low enough for only Jimmy to hear.

'Uh, Sam?' Jimmy asked uncertainly. He wanted to ask how he was okay but decided not to. It was painfully obvious that he couldn't even kill himself right.

'Don't ever do that again, damn it!' Sam whispered.

Jimmy pulled away slightly, just enough to look at Sam in the face, but not completely out of Sam's hold. 'Why not?' He asked curiously. 'I wanted you happy. You were the one person whose ever listened to me. And, all I've managed to do was make you hate me because I didn't know - because I don't know how I knew Jess was going to die.' He continued.

Dean took Matthew by the right arm, spun him the opposite direction, and they both left the room, because even if neither of them knew quite what had happened, they knew THIS conversation needed to be in private. And, Dean knew he'd have some fodder for nagging his little brother later.

Sam shook his head. 'Jimmy, I don't hate you. I don't think I could. I was angry. I was upset. What happened wasn't your fault. I'm not even sure if there would have been a way to stop what had happened. But, even if there were a way, that's not on you.' Sam said honestly.

Jimmy leaned his head against Sam's left shoulder. 'Thank you.' He whispered. He felt Sam's grip tighten. 'Sam?' He asked uncertainly.

'Hmm?' Was Sam's response.

Jimmy again pulled away slightly. 'What?' Sam asked curiously.

Jimmy wanted to say there was clarity in his mind that wasn't there before. He could remember bits of Jimmy's life and bits of Castiel but there no longer seemed to be some contradicting the bits of Castiel. And, while he could still remember the one of Castiel trying to get to his father, there was also a new one…Castiel was even younger and instead of a rebellion based scene, it was the warmth of shared Grace between parent and child, it was the embrace of a father who loved his child above himself, it was a restrained darkness that he'd never allow to harm his child…in short, it was love. But, he couldn't find the words to convey all that.

There was something else that Jimmy wanted to convey, as well. 'If I did something, would you try not to get angry at me?' Jimmy asked uncertainly.

Sam knew his face conveyed his uncertainty. 'Uh, this isn't going to be something that's going to result in a longer psych hold, is it?' Sam asked warily.

Instead of answering, Jimmy pressed his lips to Sam's.

At first, Sam was frozen - he had NOT expected that. But, the surprise quickly wore off and he reciprocated.

Jimmy felt when Sam's left hand slipped inside the partially open back of the hospital gown.

Sam felt Jimmy's right hand on the back of his head, tangling his fingers in his hair. But then, he felt his hand run over something on Jimmy's back and jerked back.

Jimmy started to object, before Sam was twisting him around and the next words out of Sam's mouth had any objection Jimmy had to Sam stopping dying in his throat, 'You have feathers on your back.'

Jimmy looked over his shoulder. 'You can see them?' Jimmy asked surprised.

'Yeah.' Sam said and nodded. 'Yes, I can.' Sam added. 'They're black.' Sam continued. Sam ran his hands over both patches of feathers, Sam figured they were in the general area of where wings would be on a human - or at least, humanoid. 'They feel... silky.' Sam finished.

Jimmy wasn't sure whether to push back or arch away, he hated having them touched! Not because it hurt but because they were sensitive - in the best possible way. 'They're also very sensitive.' Jimmy said through gritted teeth.

Sam jerked his hands back. 'Sorry.' Sam apologized.

'No, no. It... It feels good.' Jimmy corrected.

Sam figured that Cas probably had wings - he knew that depending on the lore, angels didn't necessarily have wings. He wondered if the extended wings would be as sensitive as the patches were. But, with Lucifer having been unable to remove the bind, he doubted he would ever find out.

Sam and Jimmy both jumped when it sounded like something hit the door. Followed by Dean's voice 'Fuck, that was stupid.' Sam laughed.

When a nurse stepped into the room a few seconds later, Sam had the odd feeling that despite Dean's response to hitting the door however he had, it had probably been his attempt at a forewarning.

Jimmy was subjected to numerous tests over the next three days and when Sam wasn't at school, he was in the waiting room with Dean, since it had been made clear that during the three day psych hold that Jimmy wasn't allowed visitors. Sam just HOPED that the doctors weren't able to see the feathers on Jimmy's back or this was probably going to end up being a disaster because humans didn't handle THAT level of weird well.

After the three days, Jimmy was released to Sam and Dean headed back to Louisiana. Sam and Jimmy ended up back at Matthew's. Sam didn't really understand just how Lucifer had healed Jimmy because while he was fine, the bruises were still on his face, and the cuts on his wrists had scarred as had the one on his neck. He wasn't complaining, though. He was just glad that Jimmy - Castiel - or whatever the hell he wanted to call himself was okay.

'You know, we can't do that okay?' Sam asked.

'Do what?' Jimmy asked, honestly confused.

'Jimmy, I'm your guardian. I can't be involved with you, it's unethical in so many ways.' Sam said.

By Jimmy's facial reaction, Sam knew he'd hurt him, but it had to be said. 'I thought you wanted to?' Jimmy asked sounding hurt.

'I did, but - it can't happen again.' Sam said regretfully.

'Why not?' Jimmy snapped. 'How is it unethical? Amelia was my guardian and I was MARRIED to her!' He continued.

'I don't know how that worked Jimmy, but -' Sam started to say.

'I'm not a child, Samuel. I know what I want.' Jimmy said defensively.

'Jimmy, you're no more capable of consent then a teenage girl is to screwing a twenty-something. She might know what she wants to but by law, she's not capable of consent. Neither are you.' Sam explained.

Jimmy lowered his head. 'And, just how far does that word cover? If it's just sex, that's not even something I want.' He said easily. He hadn't told Sam about the first few in-and-out years at the other institution, and what happened then is a lot of the reason the forced celibacy didn't bother him. And, if he were honest, he hadn't even really enjoyed sex with Amelia.

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. 'I uh…I don't really know.' Sam said hesitantly but honestly.

Jimmy looked up at Sam. 'Then how about an agreement?' He asked casually.

'What kind of agreement?' Sam asked curiously.

'We avoid sex and play the rest through trial and error. And, what happens is nobody else's business besides our own.' Jimmy said.

It dawned on Sam at that point that they were discussing a relationship almost as casually as Dean would discuss cars. And, throughout the discussion he hadn't thought about Jess once, despite the fact that Jimmy still had bruises and it hadn't even been four full days. Then again, Jess had even pointed out that talking to or about Jimmy - the rest of the world just seemed to take a backseat. 'I guess that could work.' Sam admitted.

'So now, we just have to figure out a way to get out of here. Since you're going to be mostly broke until Crossroads Deal is released with your part-time barista job barely covering your normal bills.' Jimmy said.

Sam lowered his head and chewed on his bottom lip for a minute before his eyes snapped up to look at Jimmy. 'There is something I could do but I'd need you to agree to it, before I'd even consider doing it.' Sam said.

'Put me to work at a library?' Jimmy asked hopefully.

Sam was surprised by the question. 'How about we go six months without you making the news or being hospitalized and we'll talk about it?' Sam responded back.

Jimmy smiled. 'Whether you believe me or not, I actually liked that job. It's the only one I've ever had that I actually enjoyed.' Jimmy admitted.

'As I said, six months without any incidents, agreed?' Sam stressed.

'Agreed.' Jimmy said without hesitation and a sharp node. 'So, what is it that you need my agreement to?' He asked curiously.

'Do you remember how I told you I get paid for writing the Hunter Brothers?' Sam asked. 'And, how even though I had never actually told Amelia about it that I have an account for you since the idea was yours and I just thought it fair that you get a portion of what I was getting paid for it?' Sam continued.

'Of course I remember. The account's in San Francisco, the same as yours. You said I'd have access to it once I was finally released from the center.' Jimmy said.

'Correct.' Sam said. And then, he proceeded to wait until Jimmy figured out what he was trying to say.

Jimmy got that 'processing, please stand-by' look, again. It was a couple minutes. 'You're thinking that we or I or you should use part of that to help with this situation so that we aren't stuck here with Matthew and Justine any longer than is absolutely necessary?' Jimmy asked.

'And, that's what I'd need you to be okay with.' Sam admitted.

'Do I get some say-so in where we end up staying?' Jimmy asked curiously.

'Well, that's only fair.' Sam said.

'In that case, can I get some different clothes? Dean's smaller than you but he's still bigger than I am.' Jimmy admitted. Dean had let him borrow a couple pairs of blue jeans, one red and one blue flannel shirt.

'How about tomorrow after my classes?' Sam suggested. He honestly didn't like shopping, period…but sometimes, it had to be done.

'Okay'. Jimmy agreed without hesitation.

The following day, Sam spent his lunch break getting things organized so Jimmy's bank account could be accessed, which turned out harder then he expected, but he did get it worked out without being to late to his pre-law class. All Sam's classes except for the one he's actually trying to get a degree in are morning classes.

After his pre-law class, he went ahead and headed back to Matthew's to pick up Jimmy.

As soon as Jimmy got in the car, Sam looked him up and down - there was a MAJOR problem seeing Jimmy dressed like Dean. 'So, there's a couple places in Palo Alto that are pretty good, I do have a personal preference for a particular clothing store in San Francisco, though. It's up to you, though.' Sam explained.

'I want a trenchcoat.' Jimmy said.

'San Fran, it is.' Sam said. He couldn't imagine Jimmy in a trench coat but it was certainly something he wouldn't mind seeing. And, while that was something he couldn't imagine, he just couldn't understand how Palo Alto which coincidentally was one of the most expensive places in the COUNTRY to live was also part of the San Francisco Bay area when San Francisco was on average over half an hours drive from Palo Alto. In hindsight, trying to drive at this time of day made that even longer.

During the snails pace of a drive, Jimmy asked, 'So, once you graduate, are you planning to move to San Francisco?'

'Probably, I honestly can't see myself living in Palo Alto. Dean keeps trying to convince me to move to Louisiana once I graduate but I'd take a wildfire and earthquakes over hurricane season any day. Benny figures I'll end up in LA but I've been there, I like it even less than Palo Alto. And, I actually do like San Fran.' Sam admitted.

'To bad the commute is as long as it is or else I'd suggest just going ahead and finding some place in San Francisco.' Jimmy said.

'It's not an entirely bad idea, but how about we focus on getting you to NOT look like my brother, and then we worry about that?' Sam suggested.

Jimmy looked down at himself. 'I don't even like plaid.' Jimmy mumbled.

Sam laughed. His brother would throw a fit if he ever heard THOSE words.

It took an hour and seventeen minutes to get to San Francisco, seventeen minutes prior, Sam had started banging his head on the steering wheel at the red light, which had the unexpected consequence - if it could be called such - of Jimmy laughing. Sam liked Jimmy's laugh though so he didn't think it was really a bad thing.

Sam led Jimmy into the clothing store. 'So, what all do you think I need besides basic clothes, a trenchcoat, and shoes?' Jimmy asked quietly but seriously.

'As you said, you need your basic clothes in whatever style you like, shoes, a trenchcoat...if you like jogging or running, clothes designed for exercising would be a good idea, and unless you're like my brother…you'll want sleepwear.' Sam said, deciding not to mention that Dean's slept stark ass naked since he was…thirteen, he doubted Benny discouraged that.

Sam wasn't real sure what time it was by the time they'd left but it had been before four when they got there and it was now after dark. He was officially NEVER going shopping with Jimmy again…at least, not if every article came with the added question, 'What do you think, Sam?', 'How do I look, Samuel?', or a couple times even 'Does this look okay, Sammy?'. Dean was the only one who got by with calling him Sammy and he didn't like it when Dean did it, he HOPED that Ben and Emma grew out of it but living with Dean he doubted it.

Sam had listened as Jimmy explained about the kind of clothes he used to like wearing and how he didn't like the Constantine look anymore, but he did still like the trenchcoat. Sam had had to butt in and ask what Constantine was. Apparently, he was a comic book character.

After the twenty-seventh different pair of trousers - surprisingly all of them jeans in either blue or black, Sam finally just suggested, 'Calvin Klein, Levi, or Wrangler…any one of those three are typically comfortable.'

Jimmy picked out six pairs handing the pile of the other twenty-one to Sam and than proceeded to grab Sam's right arm at the elbow and practically dragged him - Jimmy was smaller than Sam but Sam had known since that first summer break trip to Pontiac that Jimmy was a hell of a lot stronger than he looked - back toward the changing rooms. 'How did I go from a college student studying law and forensic science to a prospective shopping cart?' He thought to himself.

Sam realized rather quickly that the reason Jimmy had drug him back to the changing rooms was actually because he wanted Sam's opinion on how he looked.

Between the blue and black Wrangler jeans, Sam gave an approving nod at the blue jeans which got a small - almost shy - smile out of Jimmy while the black ones got an indifferent shrug. Sam came close to laughing when Jimmy looked down at the jeans like they'd personally offended him. The same thing happened with the Levi jeans. The Calvin Klein blue jeans got the indifferent shrug while the black came with a request from Sam to 'twirl around.'

Jimmy complied but gave a surprised squeak when Sam stopped him mid-spin with his hands on Jimmy's hips before he was pulled back against Sam and Sam whispered the words, 'Oh, you're definitely keeping these' in Jimmy's right ear.

Jimmy gave a full-body shiver before spinning out of Sam's grip with a smug smile on his face and than quickly stepping forward, standing on his toes, and kissing Sam on the cheek. Jimmy started to back away before Sam boxed him in against the door of the stall, 'Don't start something you're not going to finish.' Sam growled dangerously.

Jimmy's eyes glowed. 'Who says I'm won't?' He asked.

Sam kissed Jimmy roughly, but then quickly stepped back. 'Because, you CAN'T continue it, not here, Cas.' He said.

Shirts were easier since Jimmy seemed to want to keep the scars on his wrists hidden which meant long-sleeves were absolute requirements. Finally, it was narrowed down to some random named blue button-ups that matched Jimmy's eyes, one black one because he'd liked the feel of it, and oddly enough one t-shirt but that one wasn't a surprise since it was Led Zeppelin which was his favorite band.

Sam kept comments to himself while Jimmy was trying on the blue button-ups, resigning himself to simple head nods or a weak smile for approval or shakes of his head or shrugs for disapproval. The black button-up though, 'Match that with the Calvin Klein jeans.' Sam said simply.

Jimmy stepped back in the stall with the jeans and when he stepped back, it was when a smug smile on his face. 'Nice, that's nice.' Sam said with a voice pitch he hadn't had since puberty,

Jimmy stayed silent, he hadn't planned for things to go like this, and he knew the game he was playing with Sam was dangerous because there was a line that he wouldn't - couldn't cross, but he did plan to push Sam. 'Was this what you had in mind?' He said with his head down.

'Look at me.' Sam said, just shy of an order.

Jimmy did as he was told.

Sam put his right hand on the left side of Jimmy's face and Jimmy tilted his head to press more into it. 'Sam.' Jimmy breathed.

Sam slowly trialed his hand down the side of Jimmy's neck, his shoulder, his arm, and around to his lower back. 'Don't stop.' Jimmy said breathlessly.

Sam leaned down to whisper in Jimmy's right ear. 'You're trying to get us kicked out of here, aren't you?' And then, trialed kisses down from Jimmy's ear to his collarbone before stepping back with a grin on his face.

Boxers and socks were next, that went by A LOT faster since Jimmy obviously held a preference for Hanes. He grabbed a black leather belt solely for the reason that it had the word 'Angel' and he liked the letter style and little wings out from the A and l. Shoes actually turned out to be harder than the pants since Jimmy couldn't decide what style of shoe he wanted. Jimmy eventually found a pair of Harley Davidson classic harness boots with an inside zipper. Jimmy's only response instead of asking for Sam's opinion was 'What? Their boots are comfortable even if I've never been on a motorcycle in my life.'

'I didn't say anything!' Sam said defensively. 'I guess, I just never took you for a boot type of guy.' He said honestly.

Jimmy lowered his head. 'I'm not really, but I like these.' He said.

Once they found the trench coats, it actually didn't take Jimmy long to find one he liked. The only problem was, he'd remembered just how expensive his last one had been and didn't really want to spend that much again. Sam pointed out that as long as it was just the one that it would be okay. Jimmy hadn't hesitated to agree due to the expense that was a Burberry trench coat.

'It will take some getting used to but it fits you'. Sam said.

Right before getting to the check-out counter, Jimmy stopped in front a stand with some necklaces, bracelets, and other random jewelry bits. He tilted his head and Sam looked at him before looking at the stand. 'Aw, damn it! I didn't know this place sold those!' Sam said, seeing the devil's trap necklaces.

Jimmy looked at Sam. 'You knew about these?' Jimmy asked curiously.

Sam shrugged. 'Unfortunately, yes. The company approached me about certain jewelry designs based around the series, this is the only one I approved. I'm sure once book four gets written that they're want angel banishing sigil jewelry, too.' He said slightly annoyed.

'Can I get one?' Jimmy asked innocently, making Sam see for a moment how Amelia could see Jimmy as a child, but quickly dismissing the thought because THAT was not a trail he wanted to follow or else, he'd be hard pressed to touch Jimmy again or let Jimmy touch him for that matter.

'Sure, go ahead.' Sam said. The necklace was really just a black leather band with an attached silver-plated devil's trap design, it was probably copper underneath - so, it wasn't very expensive.

Sam didn't question the price once they hit the check-out counter, he was just happy to be LEAVING! As the bags were loaded in the truck, Jimmy asked, 'Apartment hunting tomorrow?'

Sam shrugged. 'But, are we looking in Palo Alto or here in San Fran? I can deal with the lengthy commute because I get up. But, if you're actually looking at getting a position as a librarian in six months, it would be best to just go ahead and find a place here, since it would suck to get a job in Palo Alto only to have to quit and leave once I graduate law school in…a little over four years. At least with my part-time job, my boss knows it's meant to be temporary until I graduate.' Sam asked.

Jimmy lowered his head. 'Sam, as much as I want to get another job as a librarian, I'm not sure if I can.' Jimmy said almost shyly.

'Jimmy, you didn't fucking kidnap me! I still can't believe that cop said you did, they dropped it once the situation was explained, but THAT should have never been said! And, your psychological condition is why I'm suggesting waiting the six months.' Sam said annoyed.

Jimmy shook his head without raising his head. 'That's not what I mean, I had an agreement with the library I was working at that once I graduated high school, I would go to college to get a masters in library science. Due to the time I've spent in the hospital, I couldn't even get my bachelors.'

'You need a degree to be a librarian?' Sam asked surprised.

Jimmy nodded. 'I didn't know that either until one of the ladies there explained it.' Jimmy admitted. 'Four years for a bachelors if you do it full-time and an additional two for a masters, so - to become a librarian it only takes one year less than it takes to become a lawyer.'

'Have you considered a different career? Because, I can't say that you going to college is going to be feasible sadly until I've got my degree, not with how expensive college is.' Sam asked.

'It's funny in a way. Dean didn't go to college but he's a mechanic and owns his own shop. Benny didn't go to culinary school but he's a huge success as a chef. You're on scholarship at one the top colleges in the country and will probably be going to work in San Francisco once you finish law school. And, like normal - I end up falling through the cracks. I guess I should be used to it, but I'm not.' Jimmy said depressed.

'Jimmy, you did this to yourself. Benny worked his ass off to get where he is. And technically, while Dean runs the auto repair and restoration shop...Benny's actually the one who owns it. And, you know I worked my ass off getting that scholarship.' Sam said and immediately regretted it. The bad thing was, it wasn't his fault. If Lucifer was to be believed, Naomi was the one to blame, whatever she did practically destroyed Castiel and the parts of him that still exist are what makes Jimmy's sanity questionable. But, he also knew Amelia's story, while he didn't necessarily like the woman…she did love Jimmy and his 'delusions' kept messing it up. The one thing he had never figured out the reason behind why Jimmy had hit her, he knew what Amelia was trying to do, but that hadn't explained why Jimmy would hit her over it.

During the ride back to Palo Alto, Jimmy kept quiet looking out the passengers side window for about the first half of the ride before he broke the silence. 'You're right, Samuel. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have done that when I was little, I should have done that even more once I met Amelia. There's a part of me that wishes you hadn't found me after Amelia had me committed.' Jimmy said hollowly.

Sam looked at Jimmy - at the speed they were moving, it wasn't exactly a hazard. 'Don't do that to yourself. I'm sorry, okay. It's really not your fault.' He said carefully. He honestly didn't plan on telling him that Lucifer was the one to save Jimmy or that Naomi kept reprogramming Castiel to make him forget the fact of who Lucifer was...at least, not until Jimmy seems a bit more stable.

'She kept reprogramming Castiel to make him forget Lucifer was his father and in the process broke him.' Sam thought to himself. 'What the hell? While it's in a different context, that's part of the basis behind my spin-off Boy King & Broken Angel.' His thought continued.

Jimmy leaned his head against the passengers side window with his hands in his lap and closed his eyes. 'It's fine Samuel, maybe Amelia was right and the only safe place for people is for me to be in the hospital.' Jimmy said hollowly.

Sam put his right hand on the back of Jimmy's neck and slowly massaged there. 'I really need to learn you're not my brother unless I want to walking around with my foot stuck in my mouth'. He said honestly.

Jimmy opened his eyes slightly, looking at Sam without turning his head. 'Don't you mean hopping around since you'd be walking with only one leg?' Jimmy asked with a smirk.

Sam laughed. 'I knew there was a sense of humor in there somewhere, Jimmy.' He said honestly.

By the time they got back to Matthew's, it was decided that - at least for the time being that they'd look for a place in Palo Alto. It was also decided that Sam would try to figure out the college angle for Jimmy with Matthew's help. And maybe in time, he'd figure out how to explain to Jimmy how Lucifer had healed him.

xXxXx

Dean sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee held tightly in his hands. There was no way in hell he'd be going back to sleep that night. He had no legitimate problem with Jimmy but EVERY TIME he saw the guy - which granted was only like three times since Sam found him - he'd end up with the same damn nightmare! Him, Sam, and Jimmy standing on the roof of some unknown building, Sam going over the edge, and Jimmy jumping off after him. The only person he'd told about the nightmare was Benny and that was simply because he'd woken Benny up screaming for his brother! And, that was part of the reason that he figured he'd be talking to Bobby about him, Benny, and the kids coming up there during the hurricanes because having to spend an undetermined amount of time around Jimmy might just land him in an asylum. They normally flew out to California to be with Sam during a hurricane but with Jimmy there…he just didn't know if he could deal with that nightmare.

Dean leaned back when he felt Benny's arms around his waist. 'That nightmare again, cher?' Benny asked sleepily.

Dean just nodded, feeling Benny's lips on the back of his neck was the one thing that relaxed him after a nightmare and he knew that. 'Je t'aime, Dean'. Benny whispered against his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: 1) Yes, it was planned out that Cas was Lucifer's kid, the multi-verse bit wasn't but it was the only way to make that fit without introducing the supernatural angle as a whole. 2) Je t'aime is one of only a handful of French words/phrases I know personally and honestly, I like the idea of Benny saying those words in French rather than English. If you don't know what it means, it simply means 'I love you'. 3) For those of you curious if I'll be continuing this story, the answer is both yes and no. This chapter is the end of Stanford Daze, BUT I am working on a one-shot that focuses more on Dean and Benny from this little 'verse and once I finish that I'll be doing a time-skip and going back and doing more with Sam and Cas or Jimmy, however you want to look at that.
> 
> Reviews/Comments/Constructive Criticism welcome!


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